☮ & ♥

There's so much left to do before I leave it's insane. Tomorrow is going to be the longest day of my school career ever. I've been making list after list of things to do and what I plan to accomplish. I'm kinda getting sick of living my life by lists. I prefer more spontaneous things.

I'm not performing with the band in Toronto so I was promoted to band manager/tour manager. Sweet Nibblets. It's going to be one sweet trip. Downside...Verizon is not covered in Toronto. Epic Fail Verizon....

Um, I don't know where else to vent about this so here we go...

I thought about what was said on Monday. I felt like complete crap for it but then I realized, it's a two-way street. You don't talk to me either honey. If I remember correctly, you told me to stop caring. I haven't stopped caring, just to let you know. I feel like i'm going through freshman year all over again. It's just like losing her friendship. It was hard as hell on me and this sure isn't easy. The only thing that makes this harder is the fact I have to smile and pretend its okay when you're around. I went to him to try and get this resolved and it's not getting any better. I get the fact you're mad I went to the principal after you told me to stop caring. Like papa roach said.. My weakness is I care too much. It really is. Will things ever be okay? I don't know. Am I hurting? Yes. Do I love you? Yes. Am I mad that you're making me out to be the bad person by having your mom pretty much tell me off like that? Yes. Am I going to let it bother me anymore? I'm not going to let anyone bring me down anymore.

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying.
Just living proof that the camera's lying.
And oh oh open wide, 'cause this is your night.
So smile, 'cause you'll go out in style.
You'll go out in style.